Are Parents Outsourcing Parenting?

I have always marveled at some of my client parents who find it impossible to say “no” to their children.  Some of these have been high powered professionals who wouldn’t hesitate to fire an employee who was messing up, and are aggressive at asserting themselves across the board.  No problem there.  But these same people will melt and become helpless when challenged by their children.  When the subject is their children, these same high powered professionals almost ooze fear that if…

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Solving Bullying In School

A major issue in schools nationally is the issue of bullying.  Most states have initiated legislation in an attempt to curb bullying, through providing consequences against the bully. This issue of bullying resonates to the staff at private residential emotional growth and therapeutic boarding schools and programs because so many of the students enrolled have either been bullies or their victims, and sometimes both.  The issue is so common that having to deal with it in these schools and programs is…

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Are Fathers Necessary?

Father’s Day seems to bring this question up more often every year.  After years of sitcoms and advertisements usually showing fathers as well meaning dunderheads, and divorce courts seeing fathers as primarily “money-making machines,” there does seem to be a wide spread sense in our society that fathers are incidental.  Many seem to have the attitude that they might be nice to have around, but the real work of raising a child is done by the mother, to the extent that…

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The Not So Cool Things About Kids Communicating Via Technology

When I was a teenager, one of my favorite things to do was talk on the phone. I can’t tell you how many times I begged my parents for my own line. My own cell phone, well that wasn’t even “in my dreams”. Sure, sometime during those years, my mom obtained a bag phone, but how was a teenager suppose to drag one of those around? I actually didn’t get my own cell phone until I was in college, but…

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The Three Odd Truths of Motherhood

There are few roles in life that have as much mythic lore written about them, spoken about them, and imbued in them as motherhood. Strangely enough, however, there are some truths that no one ever mentions, a few key points that get left out of the established narrative on motherhood. Everyone Is Pretty Much Doing It Right Can you imagine this as a headline in a parenting magazine? All we ever hear or read about are tips on how to…

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Warnings About Child Sex Offenders – Protecting Or Scaring Kids?

Sexual molestation of children is absolutely THE most vile thing in the world to me. When I hear stories of child sex offenders being “dealt with” by other inmates in prison, honestly, it pleases me. They are monsters and they deserve it. What doesn’t please me is that for every abhorrent child molester in prison, hundreds more are lurking around us, and among us, looking for opportunities to do unspeakable acts to our children that will result in them being…

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Good Parenting – Stay At Home Moms vs Working Moms

That woman you saw sobbing in her car stopped at the traffic lights this morning… her heart just broke when she reluctantly relinquished care of her crying baby and distressed toddler to a child minder in order to go to work and earn barely enough money to keep a roof over their heads and food on the table. She cried the whole way to work. She can’t help but feel that as a working mom she’s missing out on a…

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Permissive Parenting

Anybody who has worked in a residential school or program for troubled or struggling teens is in a good place to observe the end product of various types of parenting.  That is, he/she is in a good place to reflect on what happened that might have caused the child to need residential placement.  In my 25 years of working in this field, I’ve come to some tentative conclusions regarding how parenting style might have contributed to the damage that helped create a need for residential…

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